Who am I to preach/teach/blog on marriage? After all I am divorced… and while it had many good things my marriage was a bit of a disaster.
The answer to that one I suppose is that it is similar to how all good preachers preach on morality and holy living while also admitting that we are sinners in need of a saviour. It’s the whole learning from your mistakes kind of thing. I’m not being a hypocrite; I admit my mistakes in my marriage and from it have learnt, one day God willing I’ll be able to use that knowledge in a practical way but tonight I’ll try to impart a little on what I think this passage of God-breathed scripture is saying.
So let us begin…
Wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. If this was the only verse in the Bible that talked about a wives place in a marriage or in society then I for one would agree with those who hate this verse with a passion. That word submit has caused a lot of problems and a lot of abuse. Abuse that is despicable and sinful and is not what God intends.
A wife submitting is not slavery, it is not to treat the husband like he is their lord and master. It is also not agreeing with them when they actually are in the wrong.
How is the wife supposed to submit? Not being a wife myself I can’t honestly say… but I do not think it would be any different from the way in Ephesians 5:21 where we all as a church are instructed that we need to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.
The word submit that used for how wives are to interact with their husbands is the same word used to instruct me how to interact with you, and how you are to interact with the person sitting next to you, behind you or in fact any Christian you meet.
The Greek word submit has a few meanings but the key one I think applies is this ”To yield to someone’s admonition or advice” Admonition meaning, warning or correction.
I am told to listen to and follow you when you have correction or advice for me. As so it is for wives. If a husband has correction or advice for them then they are to listen and to yield, to give way to their advice.
Husbands of course had better make sure they are correct and not abusing their “authority” Paul recognizes this as the very next verse.
Paul expands on a Husbands responsibility in Ephesians that us men have to love our wife just as Christ loved the Church. Now as Christ died for the church!... that is a lot of love men have to give.
Woman are expected to follow their husbands correction and advice, husbands are expected to be willing to die for their wives. This is not much of an exaggeration and it is one that would not come into play often.
With Christ as our Lord and Master He has every right to force us to His will and do that which we hate – He does not do so. Our lives are guided by Him, His advice is the best we can ever get and He does not abuse us. Husbands be the same. The call for a wives submission is not a call for you to be He-Man master of the Universe, but to be Christ’s love to her, to give your life and actions to her well being.
This way a husband should act is not really anything new to us today but let’s look at how a wife was considered to the people Paul was writing to.
William Barclay wrote
Under Jewish law a woman was a thing, the possession of her husband, just as much as his house or his flocks or his material goods. She had no legal rights whatever. For instance, under Jewish law, a husband could divorce his wife for any cause, while a wife had no rights whatever in the initiation of divorce; and the only grounds on which a divorce might be awarded her were if her husband developed leprosy, became an apostate or ravished a virgin. In Greek society a respectable woman lived a life of entire seclusion. She never appeared on the streets alone, not even to go marketing. She lived in the women's apartments and did not join her menfolk even for meals. From her there was demanded complete servitude and chastity; but her husband could go out as much as he chose and could enter into as many relationships outside marriage as he liked without incurring any stigma. Under both Jewish and Greek laws and custom all the privileges belong to the husband and all the duties to the wife
Let me repeat “Under both Jewish and Greek laws and custom all the privileges belong to the husband and all the duties to the wife.”
Paul here is saying the Husband now has a duty to His wife. To love her and not be harsh.
We read elsewhere in Pauls writing, also in Acts and with Jesus, equality is being shown between Men and Women. Jesus met with a Samaritan woman and gave her the news of Salvation.
Women not men were first to see the resurrected Jesus. Paul preached to
Paul thanks the women who have churches meet in their homes. Things that would have been abhorrent to the men reading them back then, but today we don’t even notice their significance.
Women were being treated by God and by the apostles as the equals of men. I’m not saying the apostles got it right all the time, they had after all a lot of culture to fight against, but the beginnings were there.
I have noticed something about human nature. I call it the pendulum effect.
If a person is trapped in a lifestyle or line of thought, when they are freed they will often go to the opposite extreme. They may swing back and forth between the two extremes until they reach equilibrium. I have an idea that in Pauls days with the woman who were like slave were now being treated equally and with love by their husbands then some of them may have swung to the other end of the scale and tried to be the boss and make the husband submit, and not just submitting to advice but in the abusive type of submission we all fear. In this case it is wise for Paul to tell wives to listen to the husbands. To bring a balance.
With two short sentences Paul writes a doctrine to free women from the slavery of their husbands and to curb the sinful nature of the men and so to truly love and cherish the one that God has joined them to.
Mind blowing stuff – I just wish more marriages could live up to Pauls and Gods expectations.
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